Gratitude Tour: Dolores and Frank DeAngelis Act Two

As described at the end of part one of my tribute to Dolores and Frank DeAngelis, Frank suffered a major heart attack in 1987 after returning home from an award ceremony.  Fortunately, his son Fil, who was only sixteen at the time, had just taken a first aid class at school.  He began performing CPR on his dad and continued until an ambulance arrived.  Dolores states, “He saved his dad’s life.”  Frank had found great success in the publishing world.  In addition to receiving awards in his own name, he had edited, abridged and adapted a great deal of educational material under various pseudonyms, many of them female names.  Following his heart attack, though, he began feeling the need for a shift.  

After traveling from California to Virginia in 1991 for a Blue Ridge School reunion, he remarked to Head of School Ed McFarlane that he might be interested in returning fulltime in the future.  He was ready to be back in a classroom, to coach, and to direct musicals.  Ed is another person I’d visit on my gratitude tour.  He passed away in August 2017.  Among Ed’s many people skills was his willingness to consider ideas, even if they were maybe a bit crazy.  Frank also called his former colleague Carl Frye to see what help he might be.  Carl and his wife Nancy, to whom I have paid tribute as another power couple in education, spoke with Ed, who was already seriously considering it.  Credit those three for bringing Frank back the very next year.  

Dolores at the time thought it was a “little nuts.”  She had her own good gig going in California after all.  How many of us would leap at the chance to begin again at the age of fifty-five?  But that was Frank.  His daughter Glo told me one evening that Blue Ridge saved her dad’s life.  Blue Ridge rejuvenated him.  I’m sure it has happened many times before and since, but this is the only time of which I’m aware that two educators so important to a school have returned for a second run at that school after such a long absence.  The students, faculty and staff who had the honor of being influenced by one or both of them after 1992 would be just as grateful as those who had been impacted by them from 1967 to 1971.  

Dolores acknowledges that families in which both parents are educators have to make sacrifices.  She is grateful for and quite proud of Glo, Fil and Sarah.  “It could not have always been easy for them when they were young while Frank and I were so busy.  We involved them in what we were doing as best we could.  Then, when our children were older and we returned to Blue Ridge for our second tour, Sarah commented that children are supposed to leave their parents, not the other way around.”

Dolores did not join Frank at Blue Ridge until October of 1992.  Christmas was once again coming, and BRS needed a choir director to coordinate the Candle Light Service.  “Remembering how there were those who thought a female should not direct an all-male choir during my first stint, I set out once again to prove them wrong!”  Dolores first recruited the leaders in the school as well as athletes who had not ever envisioned themselves as singers.  Dolores loved the fact that the population of students had changed since the late 60’s such that young men from around the world, especially Asia, were now there.  She recruited them, too.  During her trip to Asia with Project Understanding, she had considered becoming a missionary.  “How thrilled I was that Blue Ridge had brought the world to me.”  She also encouraged faculty, faculty spouses and their children to participate. 

In fact, Dolores gives shoutouts to Nancy Frye, Dominique Dardenne, Jennifer Murphy, and Gail Fehlner for their help in finding wardrobes, painting sets and, in general, helping Dolores produce the elaborate winter productions that Frank directed.  “We had to read Frank’s mind when it came to costumes.  We’d search Albemarle and Greene County.  Sometimes we were right, but other times Frank would tell us to keep searching.”  Dolores is forever grateful to Jamie Bourland, too, who in building the sets also sometimes had to read Frank’s mind.   

Because of Dolores’ tenacity, the three daytime choir classes of students also rehearsed with faculty members and their families on Thursdays after dinner.  Dolores’ choirs sang for area churches and during Parents’ Weekends.  They joined the Blue Ridge community in performing Lessons and Carols just before Christmas Break.  For good measure, they performed a spring concert each year.  Dolores helped restart the VAIS choral festival at Norfolk Academy as well.  “Yearly, we had students audition and make it into District and All-State Choirs.”

Frank once again taught English, was an assistant football coach, and directed a winter musical each year.  He eventually also moved into administration.  That was his role when I met him in 1998.  He asked me why I had abruptly broken a teaching contract several years before, and he let me know that Ed McFarlane would have the same question.  Frank and Ed absolutely took a chance on me.  I hope I proved myself worthy of their having taken that risk.  

One afternoon about two months after I’d started at Blue Ridge, Dolores certainly made me feel that Frank and Ed had made a good decision.  She stopped me on the sidewalk and said, “I am so happy that Blue Ridge hired you” – just a kind, encouraging remark made way back in 1998 that I’ve never forgotten.  Great educators such as Dolores have that magic.   

It makes Dolores smile to this day to recall that Frank was honored by Central Virginia chapters of both the Daughters of the Revolution and Sons of the Revolution during his administrative years.  “These are honors given to deserving educators in recognition of patriotism.  I laugh knowing that Frank was a first-generation Italian.”  

Dolores, of course, was happy as could be immersed in all things musical.  That was always Dolores’ spark – her love for singing and the influence that song can have. She had also always been instilled with a desire to live life with purpose.  Part of that purpose was to defend the rights of all people.  Another was to educate children.  She’s thankful for those who gave her chances to do both.  If given a chance to embark on her own gratitude tour, Dolores would first, of course, find Frank.  Since his passing in 2014, she has paid tribute to him time and time again.  She would also visit Bill Lawson, the impressive civil rights activist already mentioned.  Judy Morasci would be on her list as well.  Dolores is grateful to many others who cared for her and supported her, but Frank, Bill, and Judy are at the top of that long list.   

Regrets are a part of any career in teaching.  To this day, Dolores recalls not allowing a Blue Ridge basketball player to sing in the spring concert because he missed the final rehearsal.  “Scooter Renkin was a talented athlete and also loved to sing.  The school had a policy that athletes could not play in a game if they had missed practice the day before.  I followed that same policy, but I should have made an exception in Scooter’s case.  He understood but was crushed.  Big mistake.  I learned to be more flexible with policies after that.”  

Another regret involves yet another Blue Ridge student.  He had joined the choir only because the choir was going to sing the national anthem at a Washington Wizards basketball game.  “He was disruptive from the beginning, but I didn’t remove him from the choir because I knew how much he wanted to see the Wizards game.  He was a major distraction during that trip and afterwards.  I finally was able to remove him from my music class, but the damage had been done to my other choir members who were there for the love of singing.”  

So, in one case, Dolores regrets being too heavy handed.  In the other case, she was not heavy handed enough.  She still thinks about both cases years after retirement.  I can relate.  I bet other retired educators can, too.  But how many hundreds of times did Dolores and the rest of us hit just the right buttons with students.  It’s definitely more an art than a science.  

Knowing she hit those right buttons far more often than not, she’s filled with pride as she recalls helping Imogene be accepted at UCC just as desegregation was beginning in Texas.  She also recalls helping William Scipio find his singing voice at Blue Ridge when he thought it was hopeless.  William is a former student of mine to whom I’ve also paid tribute.  I include in that tribute his love for Dolores.  As is often the case, the feeling between mentor and mentee is mutual.  To this day, William has a vivid memory of Mrs. D. stopping him in the hallway and saying, “I haven’t heard you sing, yet.”

Dolores helped countless other students find their singing voices by recruiting them in school hallways and then listening to them sing “Happy Birthday.”  What’s been in Dolores’s DNA from the beginning and is what she considers her greatest accomplishment, though, is bringing people from all walks of life together to celebrate life through singing.  “My choirs were made up of student leaders, athletes, ‘nerds,’ and misfits.  Everyone belonged – from all over the United States and the world.  They blended their voices to show that harmony is possible not despite our differences but because of them.”

Dolores recognizes that teachers today need the ability to adjust on the fly more than ever before.  The craze of the day has always been a part of education, but today’s teachers are coping with and hopefully wisely using technological advances that have little to do with reaching a child’s heart.  She also sees keeping creativity and freedom of thought in a classroom as significant challenges.  “We need to give students a chance to experience wonder.  Learning some established facts is necessary, but students need a chance to explore what if’s, too.  Teaching character while teaching your subject matter is also key.  We need to help young people believe in themselves.  How to be kind to others, especially in the face of misunderstanding or disagreement, must be in a teacher’s repertoire.”  Someone more intelligent than I will need to explain what AI or technology in general has to do with any of what Dolores knows really matters.  

Passion has always been one of Dolores’s strongest traits, and she sometimes would have to keep that passion in check when dealing with administrators or board members with whom she disagreed.  “You have to pick and choose your battles, or you’ll burn out.  I’d try to wait until I had calmed down before voicing my dissenting opinions.  That allowed me to be more rational and more likely to make a change in what I thought was the students’ best interest.”  As to additional advice for young educators, she first states emphatically, “Pray you have a strong administrator!”  I so very much agree.  

Dolores recommends that teachers new to the profession stay current on their subjects and build relationships with the best in their fields.  Teachers should find ways to bring excitement to what students might at first consider dull.  Taking workshops on teaching methods and classroom management is a good idea, too.  “More than anything, remember you are human.  You will make mistakes.  Acknowledge them.  Learn from them.  Move on.”  

I don’t have to rely on Dolores to tell me how her students would describe her.  I taught enough of those same students to know that she made music come alive for them, that she helped them see that music is more than notes and bar lines, that they felt inspired by her every day and that they felt loved by her.  It was her genuine love for others, more than teaching skills, that got her through those first few years.  “I never let on that I wasn’t sure how to do something.  ‘Fake it till you make it’ was my motto early on, but I made sure I got the training I needed in several summers of workshops.  I wanted the knowledge and training to be the best teacher I could be.”  You won’t find one single former student who doesn’t think that Dolores was absolutely the most caring, effective teacher they ever had. 

Dolores wanted to be a professional singer.  Instead, she found a lifetime of fulfillment in showing others the joy of singing.  Could Doris Day make the same claim?  “That little girl pretending to be a teacher did motivate me.  Playing with kindergarteners as they learned to read, write and listen through stories and games, learning math on paper as well as on story boards and through games, it was all such a pleasure.  Of course, choral directing became my love.  I could sing through my hands as I directed others in finding their voices.  I couldn’t have asked for a better career.” 

When the love of Dolores’ life passed away in 2014, the entire Blue Ridge family grieved.  Susan Shreve, an accomplished writer who had met the DeAngelis’s when she was also at Blue Ridge School, wrote a beautiful eulogy.  Here are excerpts.  “In the past several days since Frank’s death, I have made two discoveries:  that a friendship with Frank and Dolores is the most important one in many lives; and second, that as a writer who makes a living in this profession, no words seem to come that satisfy my deep feelings and admiration and love for Frank.  Frank’s life was a work of art – precious moments of teaching, of fun, of joy, of connection.  He created an ongoing living production through humor and stories and songs, and he brought us along on the ride.  No one who met him will forget him – not my friends or your friends, or young people or children, especially children – not simply because he was a dynamic story teller or because he was funny and irreverent and piercing in his observations but also and more significantly because he loved his people.  And everyone he knew or met was in one way or another his people.  He set up narratives with each of us – his children, his siblings, his nieces and nephews, his friends, his boys.  He sensed the temperature of everyone in a room.  We all know about Frank and a dollar. Dollars in his pocket, and you got one if in Frank’s measure you had earned it.  Frank and Dolores.  Three weddings may not have been necessary to reaffirm their love, but, as Glo says, there is nothing that Dolores likes better in the world than marrying Frank.  When the theatre darkens and the curtains open, there center stage is Frank.   ‘Come on in,’ he says to us – his audience, his players, his people.  And the gorgeous light that emanates from [him] illuminates us all.” 

Susan’s son Porter, called Po, is also a published writer and currently a professor of English and Creative Writing at the University of Wisconsin.  He wrote Frank’s obituary.  Here are excerpts.  “Beyond the office and the classroom, Frank was one of the most beloved and memorable people in the lives of his family, to whom he meant everything, and of his wide circle of friends. He was funny, big-hearted, wise, knowledgeable about literature, history, sports, drama, film, music and everything in between. He was a great storyteller and singer, a human jukebox of the American songbook. He was every child’s favorite uncle, every adult’s most entertaining friend, and though he lit up a room, he would always be the first to throw an arm around you and ask how you’ve been doing. He was that rare combination: a magnetic personality who also had genuine curiosity about others and the world. His life was a work of art that will live on in the memories and stories of the great number people who were lucky enough to know him.”

I have my own stories about Frank.  I’ve already told the story of his dive during a boxing match.  Oh, and he was a gymnast, too.  He also used to look at what I’d put on my plate in the Blue Ridge School dining hall and say, “You eat ugly.”  I think he meant I needed more color.  I was lucky to have traveled with him one time to Atlanta and Chattanooga – just the two of us.  I had a sense that it was rare to have alone time with this man.  He was quieter than you might imagine, more introspective.  He liked to talk about family — his family, my family, the Blue Ridge family.  

My daughter was fortunate to have been in Grease in 2003 under Frank’s direction.  My son was fortunate to have been on the receiving end of his hugs.  When I first began talking about my reconnection with a childhood friend, he was the first to tell me that there was something different in my voice when I spoke of her.  No one was happier for me than he was when she agreed to marry me.  It didn’t take her long, of course, to fall in love with Frank, a fact of which he would remind me every chance he got.  

After Frank retired from Blue Ridge in 2006, he had certainly earned the right to slow down a bit.  But that wasn’t Frank.  He continued to direct the winter musicals at Blue Ridge until 2011 in addition to working with the Four County Players in nearby Barboursville, VA.  He also became involved in a local Charlottesville organization called Empowering Families.  Once again, he was making a difference in the lives of young people in the context of their family needs.  He then served on the Board of the Charlottesville FACE (Functional Approach to Character Education) Project.  The Project’s mission was to promote positive social and character development, increase socially responsible positive behaviors and reduce antisocial behaviors among school children.  Frank was all over that.

It’s challenging to write about Frank without going off on tangents because there’s really no end to Frank.  He spoke beautiful Italian, but he also growled and laughed and pushed you during every second of any conversation with him to be real.  Just be real.  He eventually earned the status of Faculty Emeritus, and the stage in the Blue Ridge School auditorium is now the Frank and Dolores DeAngelis stage.  One more memory.  I would often sit beside him during faculty meetings as he grumbled under his breath, “We’ve all got things to do.  Wrap it up.”  Okay, Frank.  Here’s my close.  You would probably say we don’t owe you anything.  “Keep the dollar!”  But I think we do.  We need to tell hilarious stories, hit the line hard, try to catch every pass, dance and sing as if we were on stage, and love deeply.  You put the light on us.  We owe it to you to give the performance of a lifetime. 

Dolores retired from Blue Ridge in 2012 and was also given Faculty Emeritus status in 2014, the first female to earn that honor.  In her two stints at Blue Ridge, she was so much more than a choir director.  Because Gabe Willis ’01 and Justin Wells ’02 flourished under her direction in ways their families could not have imagined, they wanted to make gifts to the school that would reflect their deep appreciation for Dolores.  After conversations with her, they funded the sound systems that now exist in the auditorium and chapel as well as the installation of the current sound booth at the top of the auditorium.     

Dolores’ efforts didn’t stop there, though.  She also coordinated private instrument lessons both on and off campus.   She taught music appreciation, too, with an emphasis on how to listen with perception.  The history of jazz was one of her favorites.  She even held senior study groups in her home on the nights before big tests so that choir members and non-choir members would be successful in their other classes.  It also was not unusual at all to hear her cheering on the sidelines during athletic events.  There’s more.  She developed and grew a Children’s Choir made up of faculty children and friends.  

One of her proudest accomplishments was convincing the composer Roger Emerson to write a male choral arrangement of “Prayer of A Thousandfold” that the BRS choir would perform as part of the School’s 100^th birthday celebration in 2009.  Mr. Emerson was a well-known, very busy choral composer who did very few commissions.  Dolores recalls, “I will never forget calling Jim Niederberger from the music conference to tell him that my plan to sit next to Mr. Emerson so I could convince him to compose the piece had worked like a charm.”  Dolores proved that helping students find success took more than charm.  It took spunk, fire, love, sweat and tears.  This is how she made songbirds out of young men.  

Spunk, fire, love, sweat and tears are words that still may describe Dolores.  Within a few days of moving back to California in 2015, new friends learned that she was a choir director.  They thought, and she agreed, that a choir of senior citizens should be formed.  Dolores kicked into gear as she had done so many times in the past.  She began listening to 62-year-olds (and older) sing “Happy Birthday” in April.  In August, the newly-formed Parkview Singers performed on a make-shift stage in Echo Park.  That winter, they performed in the Christmas Day parade.  “A few of my singers were experienced and quite talented.  Others were not so experienced but eager to learn.  We became one voice.”  She directed that choir until 2023.

Dolores noticed the tent city of homeless people freckling the Echo Park area in 2015 as well.  She therefore organized Saint Athanasius Episcopal Church, Echo Park Methodist Church, and a local laundry mat to form Laundry Love, a non-profit that to this day allows the homeless to do their laundry at no cost.  The organization, now sponsored by Echo Park’s interfaith community STEP, turned ten years old on April 15, 2026.  Dolores attended the anniversary celebration as a special guest.

On February 5, 2024, at age 85, Dolores broke both ankles in an unfortunate fall in her living room.  The doctor on call would not perform surgery because he thought she was too old.  This is unconscionable!  This forced Dolores to spend a full month in a rehab center and really pissed her off.  Before her fall, Dolores had committed to help coordinate along with Conrado Terrazas-Cross the first Earth Day celebration at Echo Park Lake.  Members of the community organization PEP were a huge help.  

With two broken ankles and while staying at the rehab center, Dolores continued to help spearhead that celebration.  The Echo Park Earth Day brought the community together to honor the planet.  Even as I collaborated with Dolores in writing this tribute in 2026, she was working for her Senior Living Facility, one for active seniors she is quick to point out, coordinating visits from three LA City Council candidates as well as the incumbent, all hoping to represent the Echo Park neighborhood for the city of Los Angelas.

After a recent visit to a physician who thankfully was willing to give Dolores the medical care she deserves, it was determined that she would have triple bypass heart surgery in early July.  That surgery was successful, but then Dolores’ heart experienced AFib.  It was touch and go for her over the next several days.  Dolores decided to fight, which is her way, rather than roll over.  After seven weeks in the hospital, she returned home and is now under the watchful eyes of her children and grandson Rio.  She knows she is lucky to have them in her life and is especially thankful to spend time with Rio, her pride and joy.  Oh, and yes, of course, she plans (just as soon as she has the energy) to write about how women need to pay more attention to their heart health.

Have I mentioned there’s no quit in Dolores?  And have you noted that, though Dolores has distanced herself from many of the conservative aspects of her southern Baptist upbringing, she is still very much a woman of faith?  She believes in the power of prayer.  She felt that power when she had breast cancer in 1979, when Frank had his heart attack in 1987, when Frank passed in 2014, and when she broke both ankles in 2024.  She feels it now as she recovers from heart surgery.  She is grateful to anyone who feels so called.       

Dolores and Frank impacted education for a combined 97 years (she for 50, he for 47).  How blessed are we who have come within their orbits!  I can only hope that at the age of 87 I will still have the stamina, the drive and the desire that Dolores has to continue making a difference in the world.